


i think you should know (i'm thinking of you)

by dollalpaca



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF, RuPaul's Drag Race UK RPF
Genre: Eloping from a wedding you didn't even want to in the first place, F/F, Song: Thinking Of You - Katy Perry, Weddings, song-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:36:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29830569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollalpaca/pseuds/dollalpaca
Summary: She never meant to go this far with her relationship with Roger—she was fresh off a break-up, needed a rebound, and Roger was just enough of a safe pick to keep her distracted from her ex. She never meant to marry a man she doesn't love while being hung up on her ex.
Relationships: A'Whora/Tayce (Drag Race)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	i think you should know (i'm thinking of you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Winterboxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterboxx/gifts).



> this was born thanks to a vibe session with winter to katy perry's first album. i thought thinking of you would make a good fic, so here we are! thanks to grapefruit for beta-ing 💕

Aurora stares at the mirror, not catching on to the fact that the woman staring back at her, clad in all white is her. 

She never meant to go this far with her relationship with Roger—she was fresh off a break-up, needed a rebound, and Roger was just enough of a safe pick to keep her distracted from her ex. Then he asked her on a date, and she couldn’t say no because, really, she had nothing going on for her. And then they moved in together. And then, somewhere between the crude winter and the blooming spring, he popped the question.

And Aurora said yes, because it felt safer to say yes and at least have someone that cared for her, even if it was reciprocated, than say no and be lonely thanks to her unapproachable facade that Roger willingly decided to ignore.

Even if she was still hung up on her ex.

 _Is_. Is still hung up on her ex.

Aurora tears up when she thinks about it, of the fact she’s about to marry a man she never truly loved just to fill the void her ex left. She doesn’t allow herself to cry, not only because the make-up artist was ridiculously expensive, but she doesn’t resolve anything with breaking down right now. 

Her bridesmaids are floating around, talking to each other and fixing their gowns and checking their make-up every so often. Most of them are Roger’s sisters or cousins, save for her maid of honour—Tia and her were never really _that_ close, having a love-hate relationship most of the time, but when she had to pick a maid of honour, she was the only one she could pinpoint that didn’t take Tayce’s side on their break-up.

She’s also the only one that picked up on the fact she doesn’t really love Roger, but Aurora tries to deny it at the best of her capacities.

“How do I look?” She asks Tia, nervous as all hell when she comes near. She’s been staring at the mirror for a solid hour now, the void in her chest eating her up by the second.

“Like you want to throw up and leave this shithole,” Tia says, ever the blunt one, and Aurora can’t find the strength within her to tell her to piss off.

“Did any of the girls tell you if they were coming?” Aurora decides to ignore what she said and change the conversation, fidgeting with her wedding band. She can swear it’s two sizes smaller, for she can’t seem to get it off even if she tries. “Most of them didn’t reply to the invitation, except for Ginny, who said they’d give me one of them lemon trees with the roots and everything, and Cherry is Cherry, she couldn’t turn me down if she tried. That woman, always thinking of people’s mental health but hers--”

“Veronica said she’d come to the reception,” Tia interrupts her rant, picking up on her trembling voice. “She would come to the service, but she can’t. Well, more like she doesn’t _want_ to. Y’know she won’t say it, but she never liked Roger.” She just shrugs, unphased by the dirty looks the other bridesmaids send her way.

Aurora gulps. She knows many if not all her friends never took a shine to Roger, least of all tolerated him. She can’t really put a finger on why they all decided to collectively hate him—if it has to do with the fact they were Tayce’s friends first and Aurora’s second, that would make a whole lot of sense.

“And the Scots? I reckon Ellie and Lawrence wanted to get drunk and make a speech cursing Roger out.” She tries to be lighthearted, to let a snort out and smile like a bride-to-be ought to smile. But faking her feelings feels particularly hard today.

Tia pops her tongue before speaking, thinking. “No, I don’t recall Ellie or Lawrie mentioning anything about booking a plane or anything,” she says, keeping it real like she always does. For once, Aurora wishes she could lie just a little bit to her. Tell her they couldn’t come because of some complications, that they currently couldn’t afford the travel—anything, really.

Aurora clenches her fist, squeezing the fabric of her dress between her knuckles. 

All she wanted was to not end up alone, and yet, she managed to do that like no other.

“Oh,” is all she can muster, evading Tia’s gaze.

She wants to ask more than anything else if she’s heard from _her_ ; Aurora is well aware of the fact sending a wedding invitation to your ex reads more as petty rather than a cry for help. But she _needs_ to know what Tayce's reaction was. It’s a morbid curiosity more than anything—Aurora needs the confirmation that Tayce has moved on, but not to the point where she can stand to see her marry someone else.

She wants to know that she’s won.

The words taunt her lips, she opens her mouth and tastes them in the tip of her tongue—but she doesn’t say anything. 

Tia looks at her like she _knows_ , but decides to remain silent.

Aurora doesn’t know if she’s grateful for it.

***

Tayce can’t stand the way her friends seem to tiptoe around her these days.

Yes, her ex-girlfriend is getting married. Yes, she invited them to the ceremony and reception. No, it doesn’t bother her. It _genuinely_ does not. 

It’s been, what, like five years since they broke up? She’s more than over it—she’s stepped on their memories together like an empty can of pop and threw it in the bin. Although it initially did bother her how fast Aurora moved on, now there’s numbness where there used to be pain and tears.

 _Well_ , maybe that’s not all there’s to it.

Tayce _thought_ she was doing better, that she had completely forgotten Aurora, despite the fact they still moved in the same friendship circles and would inevitably have to see her every now and again. That was fine with her; as long as she kept her distance, she had nothing to worry about.

But then a gold envelope arrived among bills and publicities for trashy magazines, and Tayce’s world was thrown upside down. 

She never thought she’d get married, least of all to a man—after all, the reason they broke up was because of a disagreement of their views in marriage.

Tayce, deep down and behind those layers of coldness, wanted to get married and live in domestic bliss, maybe get a cat or two. And Aurora didn’t see the need in signing papers that would tie them for the rest of their lives—or until they found a good lawyer, at least—when they could just do what married couples do without the legality of it.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Ever since she got the invitation, Tayce wonders what that man has that she doesn’t.

Her friends are careful around her, trying to not mention Aurora or the wedding out of sympathy, and if the topic comes up they rush to say there’s no way in hell they’re going. Well, except for Ginny, who said they’d go, just because they wanted to see what kind of shit show would it be, and Cherry would go for moral support. Typical Cherry stuff.

Tayce hadn’t even opened the envelope, the sole sight of it made her stomach churn.

And if things weren’t bad already, Aurora asked Tia to be her maid of honour. And Tia, for some unholy reason, had accepted. 

Now it’s the wedding day, and Tayce is sinking in her couch while she tries to pay attention to the TV, ignoring her phone in favour of her sanity. Tia has been posting non-stop in her Close Friends story about the wedding, and Tayce feels nauseous every time she sees Aurora in a puffy dress that doesn’t look like anything she’d wear.

***

Aurora genuinely thinks she won’t make it through the ceremony without throwing up.

The pit of dread at the bottom of her stomach only increases, and she can’t help to feel that this is _wrong_. She should’ve called their relationship off long, long ago, instead of letting things drag out just because she didn’t want to be alone while Tayce remade her life with a nicer, less of a handful girl than Aurora.

But is it worth it to get herself trapped in a loveless marriage just to prove a point? Is she really that petty?

Suddenly, she’s not so sure about it.

Her mother-in-law tells her the limousine is on its way, that it’ll soon be _time_. Aurora feels as if she just got buried alive and is trying to claw her way out.

She decides that _fuck it_ , she can’t tie the knot without knowing.

“Tia,” she calls out, in a barely-there voice that almost gets lost in the noise, but Tia discreetly perches herself next to her. 

“Yes, bitchtits?” She says, nonchalant. Aurora gulps hard.

“Did you—did you hear anything at all from Tayce?”

Tia clicks her tongue, sighing dramatically for the theatrics of it. It’s like she’s been expecting this question the whole time.

“Oh, dear, it’s best if I don’t tell you,” she says simply, patting Aurora’s shoulder, but she presses on. She needs to know, needs the closure to move on. Tia looks at her with a feeling she can’t quite put a finger on and sighs again. “Rory, you know what Tayce’s like. Even if I asked her, which I did, she’ll never admit seeing you marry someone else hurts her.” Tia leaves the words hanging in the air, clearly holding back something.

“But…?” Aurora tentatively says, knowing there’s more to it. She desperately wants to believe there is.

“But,” Tia resumes, chewing on her lower lip. “I’ve known her for years, and I know better to believe Tayce.” She shrugs, trying to keep her voice down so no one picks up on their conversation. It surely wouldn’t be ideal if the family of the groom heard her talking about her ex in a longing tone. “She hasn’t moved on, love. She never did,” Tia drops the bomb unceremoniously, with a tone so nonchalant one could think they were talking about the weather.

Aurora feels as if all the air has been knocked out of her lungs. This isn’t what she wanted to hear, not at all—she didn’t need to know that her ex, whom she still loves as deeply as the first day, hasn’t moved on after all these years _just_ as she’s about to walk down the aisle.

 _No, this ain’t right_. Aurora takes Tia’s hand in hers, gives it a squeeze, and tries to channel all the mental strength she can muster.

“Bitchtits,” Aurora says softly, praying no one notices the way her heart is pounding in her ribcage like never before, the adrenaline flowing through her veins. “I don’t think I want to go through with the wedding.”

“Oh, god,” Tia breathes out in relief, “I thought you’d never say that, Veronica’s ass is probably cramping from sitting in the car.”

Aurora almost lets out a loud laugh, taken aback. “What the fuck, were you going to kidnap me from my own wedding if I didn’t tell you I wanted to run away?” The corners of her mouth twitch as Tia guides her to the back, yelling out that they’re going to the bathroom before the car arrives.

“I wouldn't say ‘kidnap’ — aggressively tried to get you to your senses, that’s more like it,” Tia says with a laugh, hurrying Aurora out of the backdoor, hushing her to keep quiet so no one would suspect anything. As if the neighbours couldn’t see through their windows a woman with fake tan dressed in a puffy cloud and a tall one with a horrible magenta dress in a cheap fabric.

They run down the street as fast as Aurora’s dress will allow her, and Veronica is startled when she’s kicked out of the backseat so Aurora can be comfortable. The shock is visible in her expression as she adjusts her seatbelt in the co-pilot seat.

“Holy fuck,” Veronica says, and this is probably the first time Aurora has heard sweet, innocent Veronica say fuck. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” she turns to tell Tia, as she turns on the engine.

“And I didn’t think this cunt would actually marry the man, but here we are,” Tia tries to be lighthearted on her delivery, but she can’t help the groan that escapes her as she speeds out the street, breaking more than one transit rule while she’s at it.

***

Tayce is about to pour her first glass of wine, having decided that getting day drunk isn’t such a bad idea, when there’s a rather desperate knock on her door. She goes to open up as fast as she can, and she’s thankful that she isn’t holding anything right now, or else she’d drop it.

Aurora is standing right in front of her in all of her glory, with her signature fake tan and the smile she used to give Tayce whenever she did something behind her back.

She blinks once, then twice, and then decides to pinch herself to make sure she’s not seeing things.

“Well, I better start believing my horoscope when it says my ex will be back,” Tayce says, baffled. A nervous chuckle comes from Aurora, who tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Her hair came straight out of a Pinterest wedding board, and the same can be said for the horribly puffy dress she’s sporting. 

“Hello to you too,” Aurora says awkwardly, and Tayce can’t let the silence hang on for long before she speaks.

“Don’t you have a wedding to attend? _Your_ wedding,” she points out, as polite as she can. She’s many things, but she’s not delusional enough to believe Aurora refused to get married unless her ex came.

Aurora purses her lips, fidgeting with her rings. “Oh, yeah, that.” She bites the inside of her cheek, avoiding Tayce’s gaze, and she has a gut feeling that she won’t like whatever she’s about to say. “I’m not going.”

Tayce blinks repeatedly, thinking she heard wrong.

“Excuse me? It’s _your_ wedding, how can you not go?” She asks, baffled. 

It’s not hard to put two and two together, to jump to the conclusion that Aurora isn’t going to marry a man she doesn’t love, even if the realization hit her at the very last second. That isn’t hard to think—the confusing part, though, is what Tayce has to do with it.

The thought that maybe, just _maybe_ , Aurora still loves her crosses briefly through her mind, but she shuts it down as fast as it came up.

Aurora looks at her behind her thick fake lashes with a feeling she can’t quite pinpoint. It’s been five years, six almost, ever since Aurora saw her with such sincerity in her gaze, and it terrifies her.

“I’m not going to get married today, or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow,” she says slowly, taking a step closer, battling with the thousands of layers of chiffon. “Not unless I get married to the person I’ve actually loved this whole time.”

Tayce breathes in hard, feeling her heart pound in her ears. God. This isn’t happening, this _can’t_ be happening.

Aurora opens her mouth to continue speaking, but Tayce cuts her off. 

“Don’t say what I think you’re about to say, _please_ ,” she pleads, her whole body trembling as she grasps on the door for dear life.

“Why not?” Aurora frowns slightly, concern taking over her features. 

“Because then I’ll have to tell you I’ve been in love with you this whole time, one of us will cry, and I’m pretty sure Tia over there—” Tayce signals to the car parked on the street, where she can make out Tia and Veronica’s silhouettes leaning against the windows. “—will record everything, and we’ll never get to live this down.” She shrugs, feeling the air abandon her lungs and her cheeks heat up when she realizes what she just said.

Aurora changes the frown for a radiant smile, the kind she’d give Tayce whenever she laughed at one of her terrible jokes. Tayce isn’t surprised to find out it still has the same effect on her.

“I was actually going to ask you if your Canadian cousin is still single, but you’ll do,” she says, as nonchalant as ever, and Tayce can’t help the snort that comes out of her.

“Ah, you’re still the same cunt, I see. Well then, lovely to see you gal!” She aims to close the door, but Aurora busts inside, doing what Tayce isn’t courageous enough to do.

She reaches for Tayce in an impulse, taking advantage of the new height her heels give her and reaches for her shoulders, pulling her down in a swift motion to give her a long-awaited kiss. Tayce just stands there in shock, as Aurora’s immaculate lipstick smudges around the edges trying to communicate all she feels in a heated kiss.

Tayce only reacts when Aurora tries to withdraw, probably thinking she’s fucked up if Tayce’s lack of response is anything to go by. She places a hand on her corseted waist, and the other in her cheek to bring her closer. God, how she has missed being able to hold her like this.

**Author's Note:**

> i suck at endings, so thats why i decided to leave it at that. hope yall liked it!


End file.
